When you have a gift and a calling it is hard to deny it. When you go through hard times and people tear you down it is hard to overcome that and believe in yourself again. It has taken me several months to pick myself up from a really disturbing experience. It makes it really difficult when those who you really admired and respect turn out to be so very harmful to you with very wrong motives. It is shocking how toxic people can effect you so badly mentally and health wise physically! Well NO MORE! I am DONE with believing the lies that I have let drag me down since last Nov! I am moving forward full steam. I have decided that I am worth pursuing my dreams and to complete my training with well qualified midwives who will have my best interest in mind – not only their own. I am so excited for what I have been doing and the plans for the next year!
I spent a beautiful week at The Farm in Tennessee in June as my jumpstart to get back into serving women. It was so hard for me to be away from my family for 7 days but invaluable for the connections I made with midwives from all over the world. What an amazing experience to spend time with others who love to serve women. Learning some of those more advanced skills, I had not really had the chance to practice previously, really helped me to feel even more confident moving into the final steps towards getting my certification.
I learned so much about myself in the last year: my limitations, my vulnerabilities, my strengths and my ambitions and motives. I am more clear headed right now then ever as I have addressed health issues and wrong mental beliefs. I will never again let down my guard when I see clear warning signs that I am headed for danger. I had many warning signs that I was headed for trouble and I ignored them all. I was working too hard for what I wanted. It has been said that when you work so hard for things you are actually pushing them further away. I now know that to be true. Going at a slower pace allows your dreams to come to you more easily. I am living this now and I am so thankful for the things I have learned and experienced this year.
I am so very excited for what is to come and hope to share more journeys with you all here. Thank you for reading my blog and for the support so many of you have shared with me in person, via email or text. It is greatly appreciated!