Talk About Your Good Birth Experiences!

Those of us who have embraced birth in all its power and strength should start sharing about it!

We need to share, with all who are interested, what we have accomplished.  Have you ever noticed that people are so fast to tell you about how bad or scary their birth was, or a family member’s birth?  Do you realize that the more we stay quiet and let those be shared but not our stories the more we perpetuate the lie that birth should be feared!  The only way to counter the fear of birth is to let people know that it does not have to be a fearful event!  We all must have a respect of birth and realize that ultimately we are not in complete control but that we can for sure effect our outcome by the things we expect birth to be.

So many people expect birth to be a scary, painful and fearful event.  When they have this expectation this is generally what they get.  This is so sad because it does not have to be the case.  With knowledge and the right support we can have a better experience.  We can and should fill our minds with positive thoughts, expectations and outcomes. We can build stronger confidence, faith and belief in our body.  If we do these things we will come to find that our bodies are so much more capable and we are more powerful and stronger than we every knew!  We can help others do this when we share our own experience of powerful birth.

Now….do not get me wrong!  Birth is not a cake walk!  It will always bring you to a place of surrender and doubt!  The majority of us have had to work very hard, even when birth was a great experience.  We should never be afraid of hard work!  In reality birth will be easy compared to the next 18 years of loving, nurturing and raising a human.

It is my belief that the fear of birth is what drives up the complications and poor outcomes.  Of course this is not always the case, we cannot always fix every problem with our mindset.  What we can do is have positive expectations but also an open mind to respond to whatever may come our way.

When we share our story of a good outcome and birth experience it allows others to see what is possible.  I know I am so thankful for the person who first told me about her home births and her sharing is what started me down the road of seeking out the same type of care for myself.  We are also able to let others see that we have a confidence that they too can have.

I think the reason we are reluctant to share our great stories is  because we don’t ever want to offend anyone.  I am sorry but if someone gets offended because you had a good experience that is their problem not yours.   Of course this does not mean you should pin everyone down and tell them everything.  What I am talking about is for example…..you are sitting with a group of other women, perhaps at a park or moms group or playdate….a pregnant mom is talking about her upcoming birth and everyone starts telling her about how terrifying theirs was.  This is a perfect time to also chime in with how you had a good experience and that it is also a possibility for her.  Do not be forceful in your approach but also do not be afraid to share because you have a different perspective than everyone else present.  Of course we should never force our opinion on others but for sure at least put the idea out there that birth can be good!    You have no idea what futures you may impact by letting other people know how safe and good birth can be.  Your story is just as valuable and important as all the other scary birth stories.

I know this can be sensitive but as an elder mother, (I only say that because I have been a mother for 27 years now, 8 times over and have worked with many women) I have seen how one woman sharing her story can impact other women.  Even if you only ever impact one other woman to think deeper about her choices you have impacted society for the better.  Do not discount the power of this duplicated.

Have your good birth stories been received well?

Have you been shut down from sharing your good birth story?

Have you been reluctant to share? If so why?

 

What are my options if my baby is breech?

Breech delivery is a very controversial topic in the birth world here in the United States..  I recently read an article(*1) from a Dr speaking about her own experience of having a breech baby.  She shares so many of the common concerns that expecting women have when they find out their baby may be or is for a fact breech.   These feelings include fear, worry, doubt in their body’s ability to birth naturally,  and the list goes on and on.   The women in this case who have had natural healthy vaginal deliveries before feel conflicted because they are hearing a Dr telling them vaginal birth is too risky but this woman believes in her body and in her gut instinct and she believes her body is more than capable.  What is this woman to do when her Dr is telling her vaginal birth is not an option?  The reality is that women are not being fully informed on the true risks and benefits of the vaginal option with their breech baby and this must change!  Providers need to start having an open and true informed discussion with their patients about the real risks of both vaginal birth and Cesarean section delivery.    All too often women find that they do not even have an option, if their baby is breech they are required to have a c-section.  Is this the best option?  Is this really safer for mom and baby? Let us open up the discussion to find out what is really behind this controversy.

In the year 2000 there was a clinical trial called the Term Breech Trial (*2) and they came to the conclusion that c-section was safer and therefore ACOG recommended routine surgical deliveries for all breech babies.  Let us dig deeper into this trial.  In this trial there were 2083 participants.  1041 planned c-sections and 1042 planned vaginal birth.  Of the 1042 planning a vaginal birth only 591 actually delivered vaginally which is about a 57% rate of the total who attempted it.  (The c-section rate(*3) in this country overall is 32% on average.)   Of the 1042 babies who were either born vaginally or planned a vaginal birth but ended up with a c-section,  a poor outcome(either trauma or death) occurred 52 times or 5% of the time.  Of the planned c-sections this occurred 17 out of 1042 or 1.7% of the time.

This can seem as if it is a clear cut case.  Let us now examine  the rate of maternal death or severe trauma.  In the planned c-section group this happened 41 out of 1042, 3.9% and of the planned vaginal deliveries it occurred 33 out of 1042,  3.2%.
So the risk to the mothers is pretty much the same between those who had vaginal birth and those who had a planned c-section.

However, we really need to dig deeper into these results. Some of the babies born vaginally died of circumstances that had nothing to do with the route of delivery.  Specifically, 2 of the vaginal birthed babies died of infection that began several days after delivery, not at all associated with their mode of delivery.  Another investigation(*4) into the Term Breech Trial done 2 years later states “Most of the children with serious neonatal morbidity after birth survived and developed normally. In this cohort, 17 out of 18 children with serious morbidity in the original study were normal at this 24-month follow-up. Another explanation is that the use of pooled mortality and morbidity data at the time of birth overstated the true long-term risks of vaginal delivery.”

Based on the few follow up trials done, beginning in 2002, ACOG went on to change their statement on vaginal breech birth and are now in support of informed consent!  This is exactly what they say right on their own website published in June 2006:  “Since that time, there have been additional publications that modify the original conclusions of the 2000 Term Breech Trial. The same researchers have published three follow-up studies examining maternal outcomes at 3 months postpartum, as well as outcomes for mothers and children 2 years after the births.”  “There are many retrospective reports of vaginal breech delivery that follow very specific protocols and note excellent neonatal outcomes. One report noted 298 women in a vaginal breech trial with no perinatal morbidity and mortality. Another report noted similar outcomes in 481 women with planned vaginal delivery. Although they are not randomized trials, these reports detail the outcomes of specific management protocols and document the potential safety of a vaginal delivery in the properly selected patient.”

In light of this information we need to more closely consider that the bigger issue here is the fact that women deserve true informed consent and to be lead to the more up to date research.  We recognize that it is very hard to find a provider who will consider ‘allowing’ a breech birth.  This does not mean that surgical delivery is safer, it is just what is more convenient for some providers.  Keep searching!  There is a provider out there who might be willing to work with you!

We, as women, need to speak up for ourselves. We need to do our own research and bring this information to our Dr’s or midwives.  Unfortunately, many Dr’s and midwives are not giving full informed consent.  This means they are not giving you ALL the information.

The reality is that c-sections, although now routine, are not risk free or easy.  They severely interfere with the mother baby bonding hour after birth.  C-sections are also a major operations that take weeks if not longer to recover from.

We as women need to listen more to our own inner voice.  If you do not agree with what you have been told then keep seeking until you find the right answer that you can feel good about.

This brings us to the deeper and more important issue of the relationship between women and their providers.  This is why midwifery care is so paramount to pregnancy and birth.  I, as a midwife, help families feel respected and valued.  I also help babies to be born gently.  What I provide for my families is a trusting relationship.  I support their decisions.  We are able to work together to come to a care plan that we can all be comfortable with. This is important in every single pregnancy and birth and not only in the breech situation, but MOST important when we are facing a breech baby.

 

1-https://slate.com/technology/2019/10/breech-babies-c-section-vaginal-birth-evidence-trust-women.html?fbclid=IwAR1Mzt8Le5tlIfQAUj8UEFnwU1i1ydB3UN5dk2Ft6Z6iLNaT136d3nCnfcA

2-https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11052579?report=abstract

3-https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/cesarean_births/cesareans.htm

4-https://www.acog.org/Clinical-Guidance-and-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Obstetric-Practice/Mode-of-Term-Singleton-Breech-Delivery?IsMobileSet=false

 

I am not sure I can do a natural birth!

So many women do not believe they can have a natural birth…. It really saddens me.

I was one who thought the same thing years ago.

The truth is that if you are willing to expose yourself to information, or in other words educate yourself, you can have a natural childbirth!

I was talking with my daughter the other day who is expecting her first child any day now. She is so torn for her friends who are either new moms or also expecting. They did not and are not learning about pregnancy, birth, labor, breastfeeding or even parenting on their own by reading to understand. They are terrified of natural birth and it really does not have to be the case.

As my daughter said, “I feel so confident in my ability to birth my baby naturally because I understand what is going on inside all because I have read this book!” She has actually read several books, books I did not even know about until after I had my 4th child. However, that day we were discussing what she had read recently and she was just starting to see why her friends were and are so terrified of labor.  It is because they do not know what is actually happening inside of them.  They are not educated on what to expect.  they have not been taught about the emotions that come at certain points.  So when they experience all of this they are terrified because they were not properly prepared.  They have never heard an empowering birth story!

If we women can share our natural birth stories with the younger generation they will feel more empowered to achieve the same on their own.   The sad reality is that so few of these younger women have heard true natural birth stories.   Many of them have heard the stories of others who ended up having a natural birth not because they consciously planned and prepared for them but because it all happened too fast and they had not time for drugs.  They also hear the stories from the women who had the epidural and how it was so great no worries.

The reality is that a drugged birth is not ideal for mom or baby.

I know that is not politically correct to say but the research does prove that those inductions that end up with epidurals or even if labor starts on it’s own but then an epidural is used, the bond is not what it could have been without the drugs.  The rates of postpartum depression are much higher with the drugged births.

I am a great example and also firmly believe that if we are properly educated about the very complex process of birth we are then aware of what is actually happening in our bodies so we can have an experience that does not compare at all to what most women have experienced.

For me this is totally true!  Oh sure I went thru the hospital childbirth classes but they did not teach me about the process of labor, all the intricate things that must occur to ignite labor, all the emotional signposts that happen at various points in labor and why the process is so long and difficult.  This is the real empowering information!!  This is the information that help women to realize that they are not crazy but that what they are feeling is normal.

We also need to expose women to the things, ideas and techniques, that help them cope with the intensity of birth.

It is hard work IT IS CALLED LABOR!  It is not pleasant but let me ask you this……..what have you gone thru in life that was easy did you appreciate like you did something that was hard?  It is a fact of life that the things that are more difficult for us GROW us, they MATURE us, they CHANGE US FOR THE BETTER.

I promise you PARENTING WILL BE THE HARDEST THING YOU EVER DO!  Birth is just your first realization that you are on a long a tough road.

It is all worth it!!  I so wish I could go back and teach my younger self the things I learned later on. Unfortunately we all make choices and learn from them and then grow into  better people!

If you would like to know more about how to have a drug free birth please reach out to me.  I have had every type of birth and speak from first hand experience.   My goal is not to shame anyone but to EMPOWER women to realize what they may think is impossible actually is possible!

Is it going to come easily with no work or effort?  I doubt it!  Are there specific things you can do to make the whole process better?  ABSOLUTELY!!!

LADIES!  YOU ARE MUSH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!

 

Reference:

Kroll‐Desrosiers, A. R., Nephew, B. C., Babb, J. A., Guilarte‐Walker, Y., A., M. S., & Deligiannidis, K. M. (2017, January 30). Association of peripartum synthetic oxytocin administration and depressive and anxiety disorders within the first postpartum year. Retrieved March 08, 2017, from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/da.22599/full

 

Exciting new things are happening here!

Dear friends and supporters!

 

I am so excited for the new stuff I have planned for my business!

I have been tirelessly working hard to finish gaining the experience I

need to get my CPM and in the meantime have been struggling to

keep enough money coming in to support my  family.  I got a great

idea recently to use my knowledge to reach and help women all

over the place by being a virtual doula or childbirth educator.

 

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE ABLE TO REACH MORE WOMEN AND

EMPOWER THEM TO HAVE THE BIRTH THEY DESIRE!

 

Why not use awesome technology for good use?

 

I have been traveling this county for the last year helping women

to have beautiful births.  I have discovered there are many

women who live too far away from anyone to hire a doula or

go to a childbirth class.  This is why I decided to fill that gap by

offering my services virtually.  Sadly, I would not be able to be

present with them physically while they labor but I could have

taught them and worked with them and a partner to such a

degree that they would be much more prepared than

they would be otherwise.

 

I am going to offer several new things!

First off is the virtual doula!

I would love to work with you no matter how far away you are! Let me

know if this sounds like something you would like and  I will

send you information on how to work with me directly.  This will be

done over skype, hangouts, facetime or we could just do it verbally

via a phone call!  I personally like doing a webcast were we can see

each other and I can share visuals with you and you can clearly see

the techniques I will show you.  However, I want to also meet the

needs of each family specifically so I do not follow rigid rules,

whatever you want.

Secondly is daily affirmations and support!

Leaving your email address will automatically get you signed up for my

daily inspirations! I’ll send you a short note every day that will help you

and encourage you to have the birth you desire. Affirmations and belief

are huge when you are trying to achieve something big.  Natural

childbirth is hard work and your mental mindset makes all the

difference.  Daily affirming to yourself that you are powerful and can

do it will take you to your goal!

 

Virtual doula

 

NOW I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU WHAT I AM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT!!!

 

I have decided to put all of my knowledge and experience to book form!

I am writing a book that I want to have published by July!

 

I do not share much of my own birth stories as I focus on the needs

of the women I serve. My passion for helping women grew from my

own experience of birth.  With my pregnancies and deliveries I have

experienced so very much and have learned so very much!

 

In my new book I am writing about my birth stories from

an interesting perspective. I will share the highs and the lows

and the lessons from each.  There will also be tons of information

about the research behind policy and procedures.

 

The main focus of this book is

EMPOWERING WOMEN TO HAVE THE BIRTH THEY WANT!!

 

There will be more info coming about about this

exciting new venture of mine! So stay tuned!

My whole purpose is to reach as many
women as I possibly can with empowering 
information and support to cherish pregnancy,
birth and mothering!

 

Thank you again for your amazing support and please share

this with whomever you think may benefit from it!

 

 

 

 

TWINS!! Pushing the norm, with success!

I am so blessed to be working with a great midwife who is serving a mom of twins.  This birth will happen in a few months. I have been reading up about twins and read a birth story that I just have to share.

 

http://www.homebirth.net.au/2010/11/natural-birthing-of-twins.html

 

This momma shares her experience of her twin home birth.  She was pushing the limits of what’s ‘acceptable’ and ‘normal’, which I hate those terms as what is normal is what is destined for that individual person.    This was her 6th pregnancy at 39 years and her last baby was delivered c-section.  This momma rocked her birth even though her babies were born over 40 hours apart!  She references her religion a lot which is different from my own belief in one God and creator of all.  However, she shares so much of her journey that is powerful and REAL for so many of us women when we are in that place of birth in which we are forever transformed!

 

The point is that our bodies were made to do this!  Yes, complications can arise but in a totally natural setting this is SO rare!  Instead of scaring the crap out of moms telling them their bodies won’t be able to do this let’s support them and tell them the truth, THEIR BODIES CAN AND WILL DO THIS!  We create our own reality when it comes to birth.   I find it so SAD that women have such a hard time being supported in TRUTH.  I plan to change this to the best of my ability for those who come in contact with me.

 

I am so thankful for this wonderful opportunity to serve a mom at home as she births her beautiful twins, and what a momma she is!  Her birth is gonna be amazing!

 

*******************************************************************************************************

UPDATE: This dear client of ours delivered her sweet twins at home! A perfect homebirth! Not without a surprise 😉 as the second baby decided to flip breech to make room for her brother to be born, HAHA. The team of midwives all decided, as this was mom’s wish, to go ahead and stay home and let her birth this way. What a wonderful birth this was! Both babies were just as perfect as could be.
We had taken this dear mother on as client as she was told she would not be allowed to birth naturally even though she had successfully birthed two children already. The medical establishment promised her if everything went perfectly at least 3 weeks before her estimated due date, they may allow her a trial of labor. If she were in the hospital she would have delivered the first baby naturally(if she made it that far) then would have also had a c-section because the second baby was breech.
This is why I do this work! Women must have the option to birth their way!! We are so happy for this family, they went against the norm and made choices based on evidence and had a beautiful outcome!