Talk About Your Good Birth Experiences!

Those of us who have embraced birth in all its power and strength should start sharing about it!

We need to share, with all who are interested, what we have accomplished.  Have you ever noticed that people are so fast to tell you about how bad or scary their birth was, or a family member’s birth?  Do you realize that the more we stay quiet and let those be shared but not our stories the more we perpetuate the lie that birth should be feared!  The only way to counter the fear of birth is to let people know that it does not have to be a fearful event!  We all must have a respect of birth and realize that ultimately we are not in complete control but that we can for sure effect our outcome by the things we expect birth to be.

So many people expect birth to be a scary, painful and fearful event.  When they have this expectation this is generally what they get.  This is so sad because it does not have to be the case.  With knowledge and the right support we can have a better experience.  We can and should fill our minds with positive thoughts, expectations and outcomes. We can build stronger confidence, faith and belief in our body.  If we do these things we will come to find that our bodies are so much more capable and we are more powerful and stronger than we every knew!  We can help others do this when we share our own experience of powerful birth.

Now….do not get me wrong!  Birth is not a cake walk!  It will always bring you to a place of surrender and doubt!  The majority of us have had to work very hard, even when birth was a great experience.  We should never be afraid of hard work!  In reality birth will be easy compared to the next 18 years of loving, nurturing and raising a human.

It is my belief that the fear of birth is what drives up the complications and poor outcomes.  Of course this is not always the case, we cannot always fix every problem with our mindset.  What we can do is have positive expectations but also an open mind to respond to whatever may come our way.

When we share our story of a good outcome and birth experience it allows others to see what is possible.  I know I am so thankful for the person who first told me about her home births and her sharing is what started me down the road of seeking out the same type of care for myself.  We are also able to let others see that we have a confidence that they too can have.

I think the reason we are reluctant to share our great stories is  because we don’t ever want to offend anyone.  I am sorry but if someone gets offended because you had a good experience that is their problem not yours.   Of course this does not mean you should pin everyone down and tell them everything.  What I am talking about is for example…..you are sitting with a group of other women, perhaps at a park or moms group or playdate….a pregnant mom is talking about her upcoming birth and everyone starts telling her about how terrifying theirs was.  This is a perfect time to also chime in with how you had a good experience and that it is also a possibility for her.  Do not be forceful in your approach but also do not be afraid to share because you have a different perspective than everyone else present.  Of course we should never force our opinion on others but for sure at least put the idea out there that birth can be good!    You have no idea what futures you may impact by letting other people know how safe and good birth can be.  Your story is just as valuable and important as all the other scary birth stories.

I know this can be sensitive but as an elder mother, (I only say that because I have been a mother for 27 years now, 8 times over and have worked with many women) I have seen how one woman sharing her story can impact other women.  Even if you only ever impact one other woman to think deeper about her choices you have impacted society for the better.  Do not discount the power of this duplicated.

Have your good birth stories been received well?

Have you been shut down from sharing your good birth story?

Have you been reluctant to share? If so why?

 

I am not sure I can do a natural birth!

So many women do not believe they can have a natural birth…. It really saddens me.

I was one who thought the same thing years ago.

The truth is that if you are willing to expose yourself to information, or in other words educate yourself, you can have a natural childbirth!

I was talking with my daughter the other day who is expecting her first child any day now. She is so torn for her friends who are either new moms or also expecting. They did not and are not learning about pregnancy, birth, labor, breastfeeding or even parenting on their own by reading to understand. They are terrified of natural birth and it really does not have to be the case.

As my daughter said, “I feel so confident in my ability to birth my baby naturally because I understand what is going on inside all because I have read this book!” She has actually read several books, books I did not even know about until after I had my 4th child. However, that day we were discussing what she had read recently and she was just starting to see why her friends were and are so terrified of labor.  It is because they do not know what is actually happening inside of them.  They are not educated on what to expect.  they have not been taught about the emotions that come at certain points.  So when they experience all of this they are terrified because they were not properly prepared.  They have never heard an empowering birth story!

If we women can share our natural birth stories with the younger generation they will feel more empowered to achieve the same on their own.   The sad reality is that so few of these younger women have heard true natural birth stories.   Many of them have heard the stories of others who ended up having a natural birth not because they consciously planned and prepared for them but because it all happened too fast and they had not time for drugs.  They also hear the stories from the women who had the epidural and how it was so great no worries.

The reality is that a drugged birth is not ideal for mom or baby.

I know that is not politically correct to say but the research does prove that those inductions that end up with epidurals or even if labor starts on it’s own but then an epidural is used, the bond is not what it could have been without the drugs.  The rates of postpartum depression are much higher with the drugged births.

I am a great example and also firmly believe that if we are properly educated about the very complex process of birth we are then aware of what is actually happening in our bodies so we can have an experience that does not compare at all to what most women have experienced.

For me this is totally true!  Oh sure I went thru the hospital childbirth classes but they did not teach me about the process of labor, all the intricate things that must occur to ignite labor, all the emotional signposts that happen at various points in labor and why the process is so long and difficult.  This is the real empowering information!!  This is the information that help women to realize that they are not crazy but that what they are feeling is normal.

We also need to expose women to the things, ideas and techniques, that help them cope with the intensity of birth.

It is hard work IT IS CALLED LABOR!  It is not pleasant but let me ask you this……..what have you gone thru in life that was easy did you appreciate like you did something that was hard?  It is a fact of life that the things that are more difficult for us GROW us, they MATURE us, they CHANGE US FOR THE BETTER.

I promise you PARENTING WILL BE THE HARDEST THING YOU EVER DO!  Birth is just your first realization that you are on a long a tough road.

It is all worth it!!  I so wish I could go back and teach my younger self the things I learned later on. Unfortunately we all make choices and learn from them and then grow into  better people!

If you would like to know more about how to have a drug free birth please reach out to me.  I have had every type of birth and speak from first hand experience.   My goal is not to shame anyone but to EMPOWER women to realize what they may think is impossible actually is possible!

Is it going to come easily with no work or effort?  I doubt it!  Are there specific things you can do to make the whole process better?  ABSOLUTELY!!!

LADIES!  YOU ARE MUSH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!

 

Reference:

Kroll‐Desrosiers, A. R., Nephew, B. C., Babb, J. A., Guilarte‐Walker, Y., A., M. S., & Deligiannidis, K. M. (2017, January 30). Association of peripartum synthetic oxytocin administration and depressive and anxiety disorders within the first postpartum year. Retrieved March 08, 2017, from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/da.22599/full