Talk About Your Good Birth Experiences!

Those of us who have embraced birth in all its power and strength should start sharing about it!

We need to share, with all who are interested, what we have accomplished.  Have you ever noticed that people are so fast to tell you about how bad or scary their birth was, or a family member’s birth?  Do you realize that the more we stay quiet and let those be shared but not our stories the more we perpetuate the lie that birth should be feared!  The only way to counter the fear of birth is to let people know that it does not have to be a fearful event!  We all must have a respect of birth and realize that ultimately we are not in complete control but that we can for sure effect our outcome by the things we expect birth to be.

So many people expect birth to be a scary, painful and fearful event.  When they have this expectation this is generally what they get.  This is so sad because it does not have to be the case.  With knowledge and the right support we can have a better experience.  We can and should fill our minds with positive thoughts, expectations and outcomes. We can build stronger confidence, faith and belief in our body.  If we do these things we will come to find that our bodies are so much more capable and we are more powerful and stronger than we every knew!  We can help others do this when we share our own experience of powerful birth.

Now….do not get me wrong!  Birth is not a cake walk!  It will always bring you to a place of surrender and doubt!  The majority of us have had to work very hard, even when birth was a great experience.  We should never be afraid of hard work!  In reality birth will be easy compared to the next 18 years of loving, nurturing and raising a human.

It is my belief that the fear of birth is what drives up the complications and poor outcomes.  Of course this is not always the case, we cannot always fix every problem with our mindset.  What we can do is have positive expectations but also an open mind to respond to whatever may come our way.

When we share our story of a good outcome and birth experience it allows others to see what is possible.  I know I am so thankful for the person who first told me about her home births and her sharing is what started me down the road of seeking out the same type of care for myself.  We are also able to let others see that we have a confidence that they too can have.

I think the reason we are reluctant to share our great stories is  because we don’t ever want to offend anyone.  I am sorry but if someone gets offended because you had a good experience that is their problem not yours.   Of course this does not mean you should pin everyone down and tell them everything.  What I am talking about is for example…..you are sitting with a group of other women, perhaps at a park or moms group or playdate….a pregnant mom is talking about her upcoming birth and everyone starts telling her about how terrifying theirs was.  This is a perfect time to also chime in with how you had a good experience and that it is also a possibility for her.  Do not be forceful in your approach but also do not be afraid to share because you have a different perspective than everyone else present.  Of course we should never force our opinion on others but for sure at least put the idea out there that birth can be good!    You have no idea what futures you may impact by letting other people know how safe and good birth can be.  Your story is just as valuable and important as all the other scary birth stories.

I know this can be sensitive but as an elder mother, (I only say that because I have been a mother for 27 years now, 8 times over and have worked with many women) I have seen how one woman sharing her story can impact other women.  Even if you only ever impact one other woman to think deeper about her choices you have impacted society for the better.  Do not discount the power of this duplicated.

Have your good birth stories been received well?

Have you been shut down from sharing your good birth story?

Have you been reluctant to share? If so why?

 

Am I Cut Out For Natural Birth?

I hear women say all the time,

“I want to be in the hospital in case something happens” or

“I want to have my first baby in the hospital and if it goes well I will maybe try a home birth next time” or

“If I were at home I would have died!” or or or ……….. it goes on and on.

The problem with this thinking is that it is all backwards.

The rate of intervention and c-sections in the hospitals is not conducive to any of these lines of thought.   The reality is you have a much better chance of having a great birth if you do it at home with a skilled attendant!   Women are dying because of all the routine interventions and because they are not getting the individual personal care every single women deserves!

You see the midwife model of care is so vastly different from the medical model of caring for pregnant and laboring women they cannot even begin to be compared!  In the hospital there are so many rules, regulations, restrictions and policies that hinder a healthy women from having an all natural birth.  The environment itself is a huge issue and you have all these people in and out. You have cultivated a relationship with a Dr over your pregnancy and the chances of actually getting that Dr are slim to none, unless you schedule your delivery which leads to a whole host of other huge issues that cause interventions that cause bad outcomes.   It cascades into a mess and then you arrive at home a few days later wondering how your actual experience veered so far off track and how you ended up with so much that you never wanted and you may even have some type of trauma just because so much happened to you and it happened so fast that you were not able to wrap your head around it at the moment.

You see……the deal is most healthy women do not need that!  This does not have to happen to you!  Most healthy women do just fine and have beautiful healthy babies and have an experience they will cherish forever, even first time moms!

You have choices and you can have a beautiful, empowering, respectful home birth with a caring attendant who will include you in every decision made and you will cherish the memory!

As a midwife I have a deep relationship with my birthing clients and am vested in the very best outcome for them and their babies!!  I monitor you very closely and will get you to a medical facility right away if you or your baby need to be there.

What has got me on this topic?………Just in the last week I have come across so many articles where women are being severely overlooked with severe health issues during labor or in the immediate postpartum period and they are dying or coming very close to it.  NPR is doing a huge ongoing investigation to the death rate of women because these things are not being tracked and no one is being held accountable for them.   These things are not happening in homes this is all happening in big respected hospitals.  It is very scary.   Many of those situations that women come out of saying, “I would have died if I were at home” are often brought on because of unnecessary interventions that never should have happened to begin with that actually put them in danger.  Those things will not happen at home, at least with me as your midwife!!

I do not want you to read this and be afraid of birth.  I want you to read this and realize that you are not necessarily safer if you choose to birth in the hospital.  It is just a different place with many more restrictions on you that make a natural birth more difficult.  Yes, if something really bad were to happen you are where needed interventions can take place but those real emergencies are literally only about a 1% occurrence in normal birth.

You are POWERFUL.

You are STRONGER THAN YOU REALIZE.

You have the POWER to birth your baby safely at home!

I would love to answer specific questions if you are wondering if home birth can be an option for you!