Talk About Your Good Birth Experiences!

Those of us who have embraced birth in all its power and strength should start sharing about it!

We need to share, with all who are interested, what we have accomplished.  Have you ever noticed that people are so fast to tell you about how bad or scary their birth was, or a family member’s birth?  Do you realize that the more we stay quiet and let those be shared but not our stories the more we perpetuate the lie that birth should be feared!  The only way to counter the fear of birth is to let people know that it does not have to be a fearful event!  We all must have a respect of birth and realize that ultimately we are not in complete control but that we can for sure effect our outcome by the things we expect birth to be.

So many people expect birth to be a scary, painful and fearful event.  When they have this expectation this is generally what they get.  This is so sad because it does not have to be the case.  With knowledge and the right support we can have a better experience.  We can and should fill our minds with positive thoughts, expectations and outcomes. We can build stronger confidence, faith and belief in our body.  If we do these things we will come to find that our bodies are so much more capable and we are more powerful and stronger than we every knew!  We can help others do this when we share our own experience of powerful birth.

Now….do not get me wrong!  Birth is not a cake walk!  It will always bring you to a place of surrender and doubt!  The majority of us have had to work very hard, even when birth was a great experience.  We should never be afraid of hard work!  In reality birth will be easy compared to the next 18 years of loving, nurturing and raising a human.

It is my belief that the fear of birth is what drives up the complications and poor outcomes.  Of course this is not always the case, we cannot always fix every problem with our mindset.  What we can do is have positive expectations but also an open mind to respond to whatever may come our way.

When we share our story of a good outcome and birth experience it allows others to see what is possible.  I know I am so thankful for the person who first told me about her home births and her sharing is what started me down the road of seeking out the same type of care for myself.  We are also able to let others see that we have a confidence that they too can have.

I think the reason we are reluctant to share our great stories is  because we don’t ever want to offend anyone.  I am sorry but if someone gets offended because you had a good experience that is their problem not yours.   Of course this does not mean you should pin everyone down and tell them everything.  What I am talking about is for example…..you are sitting with a group of other women, perhaps at a park or moms group or playdate….a pregnant mom is talking about her upcoming birth and everyone starts telling her about how terrifying theirs was.  This is a perfect time to also chime in with how you had a good experience and that it is also a possibility for her.  Do not be forceful in your approach but also do not be afraid to share because you have a different perspective than everyone else present.  Of course we should never force our opinion on others but for sure at least put the idea out there that birth can be good!    You have no idea what futures you may impact by letting other people know how safe and good birth can be.  Your story is just as valuable and important as all the other scary birth stories.

I know this can be sensitive but as an elder mother, (I only say that because I have been a mother for 27 years now, 8 times over and have worked with many women) I have seen how one woman sharing her story can impact other women.  Even if you only ever impact one other woman to think deeper about her choices you have impacted society for the better.  Do not discount the power of this duplicated.

Have your good birth stories been received well?

Have you been shut down from sharing your good birth story?

Have you been reluctant to share? If so why?

 

Home birth is a valid and safe option with the right provider.

As a birthing mother I wanted to make sure that the provider I chose was someone who knew what they were doing and who I knew would keep me and my baby safe.  I also wanted someone who I liked personality wise.

Now as a legally practicing home birth midwife I encourage potential clients to ask questions of the providers they are interviewing, be that Dr’s or midwives, about their statistics.  How many births have they attended?  What was their training like?  How many complications have they managed, what type?  How would they manage this specific complication?  How many moms were successful in VBAC?  How many moms ended up with a c-section? And many many more questions.  It is important that you are comfortable with your midwife, not only from the standpoint of personality compatibility but also from an education and experience perspective.

What makes me really sad is when people simply call themselves a midwife but have not done any work as an apprentice under the supervision of a senior midwife.  In the home birth world it is imperative to have worked under supervision of someone more experienced so that you can have a guiding hand should you need one in, at least, your first 50 births you manage.  Book knowledge alone is never going to cut it when it comes to complications that can and do arise in birth!  It honestly infuriates me when a so called ‘midwife’ gets a bad outcome but she never had any formal training or apprenticeship and was someone who simply asserted herself into the birthing world only a few years ago.  Some say that if midwifery was legal in all states this would never happen.  I disagree because we often have properly credentialed and legal midwives who also end up with bad outcomes.  There really is no perfect scenario.  Licensure cannot possibly address the entire issue because there will always be those ‘under the table’ midwives and there is no way that just because you hold a credential means you are going to always make the best judgement calls.

We also have the problem of hospital staff looking down on midwifery and legal midwives.  This creates a tension for the families that should not be there.  The reality is that in countries where midwifery is respected and more common they have much better outcomes for women and babies.  This is a fact that cannot be denied.

Then we have the other issue of is hospital birth really safe?  This is a direct quote from an article I recently read written by a hospital based OB/GYN (1): “Unfortunately, giving birth at a hospital isn’t universally safe. NPR reported that the United States is the only developed nation with an increasing rate of maternal death, which has more than doubled from 1987 to 2015. According to the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, it is now nearly twice as dangerous to give birth here as it is in Britain, France or Germany, despite the fact that the United States spends more on health care per capita than these countries. ACOG notes that the statistics are even more dire among minorities, with black women being three to four times more likely to die than white women.”

As a Certified Professional Midwife I hold the only national credential that specializes in the home birth setting.  This credential also requires book knowledge and many months, and often several years, of apprenticeship under a senior midwife.   This is the only credential that focuses on out of hospital care.  My specialty is providing respectful patient participation prenatal care along with peaceful, gentle and safe birth for mom and baby.  My clients participate in shared decision making and are never shamed for their decisions.  Their babies are born gently and safely at home.  I carry all the needed items to respond to any emergency.  When the need arises to go to the hospital we go!

I have one more baby to arrive to finish out 2019 but I did go ahead and compile my statistics so far for 2019.  To be totally honest this was a very difficult year for me in my practice.  I had to learn many lessons and solidify theories, some of which are:

  • Transferring to the hospital does not insure a good outcome. In fact, going to the hospital can cause greater harm than staying home.
  • Babies can be born early and perfectly healthy with no need for medical intervention after birth.
  • Breech babies can be born at home as a planned event with no bad outcomes.  I already knew this as I had a couple of surprise breech babies in previous years with grandmultips but this year 2019 started off with a planned breech at home which was a first for me.  When I really researched what was best for my client and for her baby in respect of their wishes it was clear that she was not guaranteed a better outcome by us choosing to go to the hospital.  We practiced shared decision making with clear guidelines of what we were all comfortable with and had a great outcome at  home.  Disclaimer…I take these cases very individually and reserve the right to decline this service for anyone at any time.  This is not something I will offer every family with a breech.
  • Chiropractic care can help a struggling baby, better than NICU teams, when the baby endured a difficult delivery.
  • There are many unknown causes for infections in babies and no matter how many spinal taps and NICU stays Dr’s require they are often clueless as to the cause or the best treatment moving forward.

In regards to that here are my statistics for 2019:

Home birth is safe with Sabrina Bias CPM

I support natural birth out of the hospital with great respect for the fact that we do not have perfect bodies and therefore things do not always go as planned.  I am not afraid to transport a mom or baby if it is needed.  Most of the time birth is perfect and beautiful and needs nothing more than encouraging respect, love and support.  However, I am comfortable with and do have the skills to respond to any emergency that may come up.

I am so very thankful for the years I spent working under the supervision of more experienced midwives.  I was able to encounter a wide variety of complications that now help me to have a more well rounded view of birth and emergency response, critical thinking skills and respect for each family’s wishes and desires.

Midwifing is not a right it is a very great responsibility and I am very grateful for each and every family who trusts me to be on their team!

 

1  https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/31/opinion/home-births.html?fbclid=IwAR2qKzrXsJ5hrCkojp4IL01U7O6aZFFJlthKbaxMEyc7BiqeCnE37aACVH8

Doctors birth at home too!

I was so blessed to read this wonderful article written by a physician on her choice to birth at home.  I highly encourage you to check it out!

 

http://bringbirthhome.com/guest-writers/physicians-home-birth-presentation/

 

The truth of the matter is if you want a birth in which you are honestly respected and shown honor for the hard work you are doing you should hire that special midwife who will nurture this to happen.  Normal birth, which is most births, is NOT an emergency, it is NOT an illness!!  Normal birth is a NORMAL bodily function.  Your body is created to be able to do this.  The problem today is that there is so much FEAR tied up in the thought of birth and this taints the truth.  If you want to have any say in your birth please consider finding a midwife who will do what we do best and that is empower and support mothers.  It is not our job to manage your labor.  It is our job to support you and encourage you.  We stand by as a support and are there IF something needs to be done.  We will know and see a potential problem arising and we will talk with you about this.  We have the skills and knowledge to know when a hospital is necessary, and will get you there if need be.

 

I can say that if you hire me as your midwife your pregnancy will be a journey of empowerment.  Knowledge really is power and I will help you to learn as much as you can so that you go into your birth confident and ready.  Birth is not easy!  It is not meant to be easy.  However, it can still be wonderful.  I feel like I can also say this from my own personal experience.  I have had many different kinds of births(c-section, hospital induction, hospital natural, and home birth) and can honestly say the med-free out of hospital births do not compare to anything you could get in a hospital. I also had a great induction with an epidural (no pain) and would still take the all natural, including the intensity, of the home birth!

 

They key is having the loving support of a skilled midwife by your side! ~ 😉

 

Feel free to check out my empowering Pinterest page for birth:

 

www.pinterest.com/sabrinam28

 

I have both a doula board and a midwifery board, both are very encouraging to homebirth!